Are you asking the right questions?
Sometimes we just have to sit down and be still for a minute in order to figure out what it is we are supposed to do today. I thought I was going allow myself to skip the #MondayMotivation post today, in order to get caught up on a few things and get ahead on the rest of the week. Then I sat down for a minute and my brain just combined 4 topics I had considered writing about into one SHORT post…so here it is.
If you don’t ask, nothing happens.
Ever heard the saying, the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask? This school year has been challenging for my high schooler, as I know it has for many others. To respect his privacy, as he’s not a fan of posting his life on the internet or social media, that’s all I will say about that – but, it leads to point…
Despite my background in education, general understanding of the way things are supposed to work, and basic knowledge of parenting and child psychology – I was at an utter loss of how to help him. Technically, I knew all of the options for school – ut none of the quite fit our lives or his needs. I knew, had tried, and was still trying all of the strategies possible…nothing was working. I took all of my own advice. Some of it worked, and yet he continued to flounder, and to be extremely frustrated…in a constant emotional upset. Like he had no clear direction or understanding of how to find one. And what we were doing as parents to help, wasn’t working. It’s not that my advice or strategies were bad, or misguided…they just weren’t quite enough for this moment in time.
Of course, I pray for my children every day. Frequently. Sometimes dozens of times a day. For their well being, for them to guided in the right directions, for them to be the light of Jesus, for God to give me the words and tools to help them. For the safety. And, this year especially, for their mental and physical health.
So, what was I NOT doing? Turning to the people and resources in place to HELP me when I couldn’t do it on my own.
Is it really just that simple?
Yea, it is. All the prayers in the world don’t mean that things will magically be ok. If God has thrown things at us, literally right in front of our faces, to help us and we don’t see or utilize them…well, that’s on us.
So, I made the call…I called the school counselor. And, of course, I thought I had all the answers and solutions. Oh, was I wrong. She was SO incredibly patient, and kind, and receptive. She asked all the right questions to FULLY undestand the situation. She laid out ALL of the options, good and bad, in explicit detail. She explained why some were not great options for us, and why some might work. She talked about what was and wasn’t working for other students, without making the assumption that my child was like other students in every way. Though they are ALL going through very similar academic and emotional struggles , each and every child is coming from a very unique background, home life, social situation, etc…all the things…
Guess what? By the end of the call, I was in tears – tears of gratitude and relief. This dear woman had not only listened to my concerns, she had taken the time to understand our family dynamic AND my child – and she had ANSWERS. Solutions we could implement right away. Like, today.
Friends, I wish I could take an emotional snapshot of my child and our home before and after that call. It’s like living with a different child. Though, of course, he’s still a teenager, it’s like we went back to the funny, joyful, enthusiastic, engaged pre-pandemic child we once knew.
JUST KNOWING THAT SOMEONE CARES MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
Are we really listening to our children? To their words, their actions, their body language?
Are they BEGGING for help? Sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help, or what help to ask for.
Are slowing down enough to recognize their struggles? Life is ALOT for everyone right now. We chose these precious blessings, let’s be sure to respect, acknowledge, and appreciate them for all they have to give.
Are we calling in reinforcements? It’s so easy to think that we can handle everything, that everything will be better if we just…or after …. or if…. fill in the blanks…Pride is a very deceptive and dangerous thing. Sometimes we don’t even know that it is pride that is stopping us from asking for help.
Do we even KNOW what our options are? That, dear, may be the first call you need to make. Ask the questions. Look for the resources. There are so many more available than you can possibly imagine.
God’s promise is this: ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE.
It is just that simple. Open your mind, open your heart, and receive your blessings.
Much Love to you and yours!
Cindi
Self proclaimed Godmother of the Messy Bun Mafia.
