I’ll be honest, I never realize this day is coming up until I see it posted by a friend. It’s something I’m always hesitant to post, not because of my own struggles, but because I know that posts and days like this can be a trigger hurt and grief for so many families.
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day to bring awareness, encourage people to talk about their loss, and to honor the babies lost.
I don’t have a big story to tell, but it’s enough of a story that I did feel just a sliver of the loss that so many women and families feel.
I had a very early miscarriage between my 2nd and 3rd children. I actually had a doctors appointment the next day to confirm the pregnancy and begin prenatal care. I’m not even sure we had really told anyone yet. It was early enough in the pregnancy, about 6 weeks, that there was no pain or trauma physically. Just the blood. And knowing.
The hardest part was having to go to the doctor and have my levels checked to ensure that my body had done it’s work. I will say that my family, my doctor, and his absolutely precious nurse were so kind and understanding. I felt like a zombie walking through that short time period, and going to the doctor (I think it was only 3 visits?) was just surreal.
Did I mourn and grieve the child and life that might have been? Of course I did. Especially having had pregnancies, and no previous miscarriages, the loss was completely unexpected.
Can I compare my experience to those of women who were further along or experienced multiple losses? No, of course not. Does that make it any less significant? Also, no.
What I can do is take the loss that experienced and remember what that felt like so that I can support others with empathy, and with love, and with understanding.
If you are hurting and grieving, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends, to your church, to local organizations that can support you. And, if I can pray for you or encourage you in any way, I’m here.
You will get through this. Your experience is significant. Your child is loved. Your child is safe in the hands of God.
My prayers are with you, sweet friends!
