We all give lots of thought, time and money to our Wedding Hair…and for good reason … it’s a long day, arguably one of the most important days of our lives, there will be TONS of photos, before, during, and after, and, of course, we want to look our best for our soon to be spouse.
But have you given any thought to your hair AFTER the wedding?
Your Wedding NIGHT hair?
Hmmmm.
Whether you have consummated your relationship or not is really none of my business…but I think we can all agree that we want that alone time after the festivities to be just as perfect as our wedding day. What do you expect your hair to look like when you try to take down that style you have planned?
Let’s talk about that and a few things you can start doing NOW to plan for the most epic and sexy hair let down EVER…I’m talking the stuff of movie love scenes. Of course, all of these tips will also ensure that your wedding day hair is amazing as well, but I’d like to focus more on the after. Following these strategies will ensure that your hair is:
- Touchably soft
- Silky smooth
- Frizz free
- Free of tangles
- Free of excess styling product
- Sexy and Carefree.
It starts now, with the right routines and the right products.
Cleansing & Conditioning Products
Let’s talk about some things to look for and some things to avoid. At the end of this post, you’ll find a list of products and brands I can confidently recommend.
Stop using products with silicones and sulfates.
If you’re wedding is less than 30 days away, you may not want to start experimenting. There will be a transition period while you, your hair and your scalp adjust to these friendlier products.
Silicone lies somewhere between a synthetic rubber and synthetic plastic polymer. Acording to Wikepedia, they ‘are used in sealants, adhesives, lubricants, medicine, cooking utensils, and thermal and electrical insulation‘. Is that really something you want in your hair? When you you use heat tools, like flat irons, you are basically melting that onto your hair…
In order to get the slicones out, we turn to harsh detergents, aka sulfates, the most common one you’ll see in shampoos and other cleansing products is sodium lauryl sulfate. Basically, it’s a detergent to get the dirt and oil out. Now you’re in a cycle of adding plastic/rubber to your hair and using detergents to strip it out…and round and round it goes…though effective in it’s daily use, the long term effects on your hair are not ideal.
Instead, look for natural cleansing and conditioning products that do not contain sodium lauryl sulfates or silicones. It can take some time to determine which ones you like, and to see the effects on your hair…so don’t expect results right out of the gate. Again, at the end of this post, I’ll have recommendations for you. If you want to check on other products, here are three things ways you can ‘verify’ them:
- Try these two sites: http://www.isitcg.com/ or https://www.curlsbot.com/. Yes, these sites/ingredient checkers were designed for curly hair, but I can assure that if a product is curl safe, it’s straight hair safe. These sites are not always 100% accurate, but they are a GREAT place to start and a great quick check.
- Avoid products with sulfates. It might say ‘sulfate free’ on the label.
- Still you’ll want to check for these common terms on the list of ingredients: alkylbenzene sulfonate, sodium cocoyl sarcosinate, ammonium or sodium xylenesulfonate, and dioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate.
- Instead, look for: coco betaine, lauroamphoacetate, cocoyl isethionate, cocamidopropyl betaine, disodium cocoamphodiacetate or cocoamphodipropionate or cocamphodipropionate, or ocoamphoacetate.
- Opt for water soluable silicones if you must have them:
- These are your common ingredients for nonsoluble silicones: dimethiconol, cetyl dimethicone, dimethicone, cetearyl methicone, and stearyl dimethicone.
- Water soluable silicones include: hydrolyzed wheat protein, hydroxypropyl polysiloxane, dimethicone copolyol, or lauryl methicone copolyol. The acronyms “PPG” or “PEG” will clue in on water soluble silicones.
- Alternatives to silicones include: behentrimonium methosulfate, distearyldimonium chloride, behentrimonium chloride, polyquaternium 55, cetrimonium bromide, or dicetyldimonium chloride.
What about those styling products?
Oh, my oh my! The cycle continues! This one is simple…if you ditch the sulfates and silicones, you’re going to need fewer stylers. Follow the guidelines above, and consider these additional thoughts when choosing stylers.
Alcohol is very drying…some alcohols are considered hydrating, and ok to use – you might see: cetearyl alcohol, cetyl alcohol, myristyl alcohol, lauryl alcohol, and behenyl alcohol. If your hair takes a long time to dry, look for Aloe based products to help with ‘flash drying’ for faster drying times.
Oils are always up for a good hearty debate. Some people swear by them, some avoid them like the plague. Oils that be helpful include coconut oil, shea butter, argon oil, olive oil, and a whole host of others. Lavender and Rose Water are great ways, also, to keep your hair hydrated or give it a little extra shine.
The more natural, the better.
I’ll be talking more soon in the #ThirstyThursday Series about cleansing, conditioning and styling products. Curly hair techniques are NOT just for curly hair! Click the image below to make sure those posts come to your inbox.
Cleansing & Conditioning Routines
Wash your hair as little as once peer week. GASP! Right? Try skipping just one day…then add another day, etc. If you can get to just twice a week, the natural oils your scalp sends out to your hair will fall in line and balance out.
Between washes, try a co-wash! Basically, cleansing with conditioner. If you need to rinse or hydrate your hair in between cleansing, just add water! Either a spray bottle, or fully saturating it in the shower will do the trick.
Don’t believe me? Check out THIS post and watch Brad’s video about washing your hair.
Styling Routines
Keep your style as simple as possible to avoid overworking your hair. Use as little product as you can. Use a gel made with natural ingredients, or make your own. DIY Flaxseed Gel is great. I prefer Ecoslay’s Orange Marmalade Gel to making my own.
Did you know that if you put your gel in while your hair is wet, it will form a hard cast? Once your hair is dry, you can ‘scrunch out the crunch’ and there will be no evidence of the gel! It’s like magic…
MIMIMIZE THE DAMAGE
We have to minimize the damage to our hair in order for it to look it’s best. Here are your do’s and don’t’s to avoid damage, frizz, and, well, just a hot mess of hair.
These Three things have to stop, ASAP
- Color Treatments. Yes. I said it. We all know coloring, especially bleaching, your hair causes damage. So, I’m not going to get into the science of that. Don’t worry, if you don’t want to give up your color before or for your wedding, that’s ok. I’m going to tell you how to manage that…but, for now, STOP. Yes, you can still color your hair. Here’s how to minimize the damage and maximize the WOW factor:
- Schedule your next color with a PROFESSIONAL (no box treatments for the wedding, ok?) Schedule close enough to the wedding that you won’t have new growth, but far enough away that you can let it settle. I can’t tell you what that magic time frame is…but I’d say 1.5 to 2 weeks should be safe.
- Talk to your stylist about Bayalage instead of traditional highlighting. It can be much less damaging.
- Olaplex is going to be your bestie. Olaplex is a hair repair system, and I have no other recommendations for products that perform as well, with as great a reputation. There is an entire system , with steps 1 & 2 being performed ONLY in Salons. Talk to your stylist about this. Although I have purchased Olaplex 3 from Amazon with no issue, it always recommended that you purchase beauty products directly from the company, your salon, or an authorized retailer to ensure the quality and integrity of your products. You can see the entire system, and individual Olaplex items on company’s website. Your stylist can assist you in selecting the right products for your hair. You may not need every single item.
- Follow the additional steps, below, to minimize damage.
- Heat Styling. Flat irons, curling irons, blow dryers (unless you’re using a diffuser), hot rollers, etc…Put them all away for now. Heat styling can burn the cuticle, cause frizz, fraying, and puffy cuticles. If you want to go back to them on your wedding day, or after…go for it! But, for now at least, give your hair a rest. Here are some alternatives to heat styling:
- Heatless curls. There are several ways to obtain heatless curls. some you can do without any additional tools or accessories, or you can get a variety of products to assist you:
- Braids – Braids will give you wave more than curl. Braid your hair while it’s slightly damp. You can sleep in the braids, or just wear them throughout the day and take them down when you’re ready to head out. This option doubles as a protective style. The tighter the braid, the tighter the finished wave will be.
- Buns – same concept as a braid! This is just going to give a larger, looser wave and potential ringlets. You can do one large bun, or several smaller buns. Just like braids, putting your hair up damp and leaving it up for a few hours will give you the best result. I’ve included, below, a quick demo on a basic bun and how to get a good wave/curl from it. That twist is key!
- Twists – Just twist your hair up and clip in place, or tie it LOOSELY with soft strips of material.
- Heatless curlers do actually work! It make take some practice, and a little gel (go natural with this, it doesn’t need to be crunchy!) Basically, how much curl you’re going to get and how well these hold, will depend greatly on your hair. There are ways to manipulate into submission. If you’d like advice on that, leave me a comment sharing what your hair texture is like, and what your struggle is. I’ll see if I can help you find some solutions. I’ve included a few options below:
- Heatless curls. There are several ways to obtain heatless curls. some you can do without any additional tools or accessories, or you can get a variety of products to assist you:
Spiral Curls Styling Kit – the different colors can be for different lengths or tighter or looser curls – so be sure to read the description of the sets you consider. These are fascinating, and very effective!
Heatless Curl Ribbon – I have not personally used this product, and, honestly, I feel like the same results could easily be achieved with any full hairband or a scarf – think of it as a Gibson Tuck. CLICK HERE for a brief video demonstrating a Gibson Tuck. I’ll see if I can get a full tutorial of that style up for you in the very near future.
Twist-Flex Foam Roller – Rollers like this have been around for at least 20 years – that’s the first time I had ever seen them. Watched a friend sleep in them every night, and was surprised to learn that this was how she achieved perfect curls that lasted all day on her stick straight hair.
3. Hair Ties. Darlin’. Please. Stop putting rubber bands in your hair. Please. There are SO MANY other options. At minimum, grab a silk or satin scrunchie. Here are some I’d prefer you, as an adult human being, consider:
- Hairbands.
- Knit hairbands/buffs are always a comfortable option. These can also double as face coverings.
- Use a Silk or satin scarf as a hairband. This will come in handy when read below about to protect your hair, as well.
- Lilla Rose has a wide variety of casual and formal hairbands, adjustable and comfortable.
- I haven’t tried these yet, but Zazzy Bands have become very popular among ladies with curly hair.
- Flexi Clips – I won’t go into great detail here, but you can watch THIS video on YouTube to learn more. Because of these & Upins, I have not worn a hair tie in 2.5 years.
- Upins or Bobbies. My go to for pony tails and buns is the Swerve Upin. Available in a variety of options from basic and ‘unseen’, to fully bedazzled, you’re sure to find something to suit you! You’ll see Upins featured in the video below.
- Hair sticks. As simple as that! No hair stick? No problem! Grab a pretty pencil and that should do the trick. Want a pretty one? Head over to LROSE.BIZ/CINDIMOORE
What you can start doing now to protect your locks.
- Replace your cotton or poly blend pillowcase with silk or satin. This is important for EVERY hair type. Why? It will minimize friction. Minimizing friction will minimize frizz & damage.
- If your hair is medium to long in length, sleep with a loose pony or messy bun on top of your head. Use a silk scrunchie, Flexi Clip, or upin to hold your hair up. This will protect your hair from unnecessary roughness.
- Regardless of the length of your hair, sleep in a silk or satin scarf or buff or sleep cap. This, like your pillowcase, will protect your hair from friction.
- Wear protective styles like braids (these can be loose or tight, depending on your hair type) and buns. This will minimize environmental exposure to too much sun, pollutants, day to day friction, etc.
- Wear a sun hat when you are outdoors. Yes, the too much sun exposure can be drying and damaging to your hair.
- Enjoy your hot shower, but make sure your hair gets lukewarm water. Hot water opens up the cuticles and, if too hot, can cause damage. You can, of course, smooth the cuticle with cool water. Lukewarm is best for your hair, all around.
- Nourish your hair from the inside out. Drink your water, doll! It’s the best thing for you!
Now that you know what to do (I hope this doesn’t all sound as daunting as it looks as I realize how long this article is becoming!), Let’s get to the fun stuff, shall we? You’ve done the work, you’ve protected and prepared your hair. Now, it’s time it’s time for…
YOUR WEDDING NIGHT
If you have tons of styling products, an entire can of hairspray, and 50 bazillion bobby pins holding things in place, it will look kind of like (AND FEEL) this:
If you’ve followed the routines above, and reached your hairs maximum potential, you can minimize your styling products, and your accessories.
Would you believe if I told you that you could pull this day off with ONE piece of hair jewelery and nothing else? How much more fun will that be to take down later?
DISCLAIMER: I created the video you see below right smack in the middle of a 30 day hair care experiment. So, what you are NOT going to see is my hair at it’s best, or manipulated into perfect ringlets, waves, etc…for me to do so would void my experiment and I’m not really interested in starting over…I hope to recreate this video with hair shined up and polished in more formally prepared curls….please don’t read that as I don’t LOVE my hair, I DO, very much! But, I do recognize that many of you would rather see hair close to what you see in the images above…I cannot achieve that at this moment. But, will do so for you as soon as possible.
So, how does it look to actually take your hair down ONE HANDED…or let your new spouse do that for you?
You hear me, but you’re still afraid of Frizz? Frizz is cause by many things…friction, damage, heat, lack of moisture…read up on curly hair strategies…they can be applied to ANY hair type. I’m actually in the midst of writing a series on this, which inspired this article for you! Avoid damage. Repair what you can. Drink lots of water. These are your top three!
But what if it rains? If your hair properly moisturized and healthy, rain is a non issue. Make sure you put a lightweight scarf in your bag for the day to cover your styled hair, if needed.
But what if I have curly hair? Girl. Same. CLICK HERE join us.
But what if I straighten my hair? Try to NOT do this leading up to your wedding day. We want to minimize damage. If you want to straighten for the wedding, you should be golden – you might want to get a heat protectant. Also, use your hot tools on the lowest setting possible to achieve your desired result, and don’t rush. Give yourself plenty of time. This might be a good day to let a pro handle the flat iron, and consider using a heat protectant.
How do I make the curls hold? Most hair will hold curls. Some, well…you know who you are. If you have that stubborn hair, here’s the advice I was given years ago: Wet hair + mousse + hair spray. put the curlers in. Or dry it. More hairspray. Curl it. More hairspray. Let it cool if heat was used. More hairspray. *Don’t touch hot curls until fully cooled. *use all the hairspray. This is not exactly what I would do in most cases, but if you have that hair that just won’t cooperate, this might be your ticket. Keep finished curls loosely bound in a net or scarf until time to present.
I think I have maxed out this article. Soon, we’ll add a little to it with some ideas for items to pack for your hair on your big day, what to pack just in case for your bridal party, whether they be male or female. Until then, I look forward to your questions and feedback!
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