This is Self-Care. In ABC format.

When your husband is a UPS driver, you have children, you’re dealing with Chronic Pain, and you’re about nose-dive into the holiday season…this is how you survive.

I’ve spent the last few weeks working on my processes. My processes for home management, for work, for school, for my spirit, and for REST. I think I’ve just about got it all mastered so that I can, on most normal days, manage it all. But, what’s a normal day anymore, right? Exactly. So, I’ve had to build in a lot room for error and plot twists. Because they’re going to happen. Always. It’s taken me many years to accept and fully understand that. And, so here we are. Heading into another Holiday season. This is what my life looks like during a typical November and December:

• I barely see my husband. He works long hours, and is generally helping to give me a break and do things around the house or with and for the kids on the weekends. Or, out shopping for gifts for me. Yep, he actually does that. Because, yes, he’s awesome like that. I don’t know where he gets his energy from…but, you know…if I ever figure it out, I’ll sell you some.
• I’m trying to make sure my middle schooler, now high schooler, keeps up with his assignments. This year, that’s much more challenging as he’s on a hybrid schedule, and I’m a very unfocused person by nature. If it’s not right in front of me, I am probably not thinking about it.
• Of course, endless events and get togethers…some at our home, some with friends and colleagues, some with family. You know the drill. Who knows what that’s going to look like this year…
• Church & school events, special outfits, fundraisers, food drives, toy drives, etc…
• Shopping. Mostly online…but, you know, there’s just something a little extra special and fun about being in a store or at a vendor event this time of year and hand selecting the perfect gift. I usually only do that once or twice during this season, because of time.

A. You listen to your body. When your body says stop, you stop. When your body says slow down, you slow down. When your body says you have a little energy, a couple of spoons…you use them wisely, when your body says you need something, you make sure it gets that thing. If you don’t know the story of the spoons, please look that up! You’ll understand so many things!

B. You take inventory. Take a good close look at everything. See where you stand, what’s going on around you, what you have control, and what you don’t.

• You step back, you look at everything you are currently committed to, whether by choice, force, or circumstance. How are those things going? How well are you managing them? Is there something you can let go of? Is there something you need help with? Is there that one thing you’ve always wanted to do during the holidays that you MIGHT have time for this year? Don’t overcommit, but also don’t under commit this holiday season. Be careful not to isolate yourself. Depression is a thing, and can really rear it’s ugly head during the holidays, and the winter months. Please, reach out to someone if you need some conversation or help!
• Look at your home. Can you spend some time ‘fall cleaning’, decluttering, sprucing up? Maybe take care of some minor home maintenance? Wash the bedspreads and curtains. You know, just bust up some cobwebs. We all have them.
• Consider your relationships. This past several months (I can’t even believe I actually have use the word several now!!) have been hard on everyone! What relationships have you neglected? I know there have been a few for me. I have an amazing catch up Facetime call with my absolute bestest friend ever last week, and it did SO MUCH to lift my spirits. We rarely get to see each other, mostly because we live in separate towns just far enough apart that it takes some planning to get together, and both have children AND UPS husbands…and, you know…lives beyond them… so, you know how that goes. But, there are those other relationships that are meaningful for other reasons. Maybe you are an encouragement, maybe that other person is, or maybe you are an encouragement to each other. Send a text, a card, or give them a call. Just let them know you are thinking about them!
• Consider your finances. How are things for you right now? I know, for many, finances are struggle right now. For some, things are better, and for others, things haven’t really changed all that much. Take a close look at your personal financial situation before you start planning for the holidays. My sweet virtual friend, Christy, wrote a great article recently about setting goals now instead of waiting until the New Year. Check it out here on When Women Inspire. If you’re not in the place you want to be, read a little here about some options to #unpause your dreams.

C. You take a breather. Just stop EVERYTHING. Well, maybe not everything. But the things you can. Take a rest. Take a staycation. If you’re self-employed and work from home, this can be an especially hard thing to allow or MAKE yourself do…but listen, love, you gotta do it. I’m doing it. Like, starting now. It’s actually why I chose this topic for you today. What does this look like for me?

• Minimal social media. That means several different things to me, personally. It may look different for you.
  • Less scrolling for the sake of scrolling or engagement. More scrolling for the sake of actually checking on and connecting with my friends, be they personal IRL friends, or connections I’ve made online.
  • Turning off ALL of the notifications to ALL of the platforms. Listen, if you don’t have my phone number, whatever you need from me, or want to share with me, can likely wait or isn’t time sensitive.
  • Minimal content creation. I am a content junkie. I love creating graphics and videos. It’s just fun to me! I used to sew, and am not able to do that right now for a variety of reasons, and it’s kind of a creative outlet. No, I’m not a professional. It’s just fun.
  • Minimal posts. No pressure for daily blog posts, multiple social posts each day on FB or IG, I might or might do my TikToks (that one I actually still enjoy very much, so it will be the last to go…it just has to take a backseat to other things for a minute).
• Minimal actual work related activities.
  • The taxes don’t have to be done this week.
  • It’s ok if I don’t send out EVERY email I think should.
  • It’s ok if I don’t share new releases on every single platform.
  • No video creation or photo sessions.
  • Again, minimal, if any, content creation.
• Minimal social activities. This might actually be opposite for you! You many need more! In my case, I LOVE small, intimate social activities. Unfortunately, ALL social activities DRAIN ME. Leaving me little energy for other things. So, it that means lunches, phone calls, sitting around chitchatting with anyone other than those people living in my house will be pushed to another week if at all possible.
• Minimal Outings. Groceries will be ordered. Amazon and Target delivery options will be my bestie. My husband may be asked to pick things up on the way home from work a little more than usual. And, he’s ok with that. He’ll always tell me when he can’t, and that’s ok, too.
• And don’t, under ANY circumstances, agree to ANY further commitments during this breather. NOTHING! Got it? I’m TERRIBLE about taking these little rests, deciding I can handle basically 10 times more than I’m already juggling, and then having committers remorse. If they need an answer NOW, the answer is no. If it’s something you’d really like to do, your answer is, “Let me think on that and get back to you next week.” If you don’t want to do it, same answer. Or no. It’s ok to say, ‘no.’ You don’t owe any explanation for that word.

I’ll be taking my little breather this week! Of course, you’ll still see me posting or doing random things…that’s just what I do…but, before I do those things the following will happen:

• I will sleep late.
• My phone will spend most of the week on silent.
• The laundry will be started.
• I will do my daily Bible study in silence while drinking a FULL cup of coffee (or two, or three) while it’s still hot.
• Dinner will be planned, at least in my head.

So, that’s a wrap! Will you join me on this little pre-holiday breather?

Or maybe consider taking it next week? I hope that you will! In the meantime, don’t be offended if it takes me a few days to respond to your comments that I enjoy so very much! If we’re working on a project or collaboration together, of course I’ll be keeping up with those conversations. And, if you’re a customer of mine, of course I’ll watch for your messages! Just please, be patient with me. My brain, my body, my everything just need a rest.

Here’s what I have planned for you when I’m ‘back’: Holiday planning guides, a list of some of my favorite things to inspire your gift giving & shopping, pairing your favorite hats & beanies with some really fun hairstyles during the colder months, dealing with dryer balls and static electricity (we’re experimenting for you!), some Little Free Library Updates, and, of course, whatever faith inspired posts God gives me. I’m still walking through Genesis, so it’s likely that most will come from there…but you know…God usually has better plans than I do!

Much Love, friends! I hope you have a FABULOUS week!